This is the first Chinese Christian song I have ever composed, with the original intention of wrapping up the gospel message within a song. The lyrics was written in the year 2013 meanwhile the melody and accompaniment were both completed in the year 2016. Throughout my life, I have experienced four phases of rebellion. The Lord Jesus has rescued me from my deadly despair. Thus, I would like to dedicate this song to God and all of you who have yet to know Him.<\/p>\n
My first rebellious phase happened when I was fifteen. I was down with depression and binge eating disorder due to unacceptable weight loss method. I played truant and ran away from home, my habitual suicidal attempts had caused deep hurt for those who love me dearly. Many had been praying for me during my identity loss. I quit my destructive truancy and suicidal tendency after being stricken by a major disease.<\/p>\n
My second rebellious phase took place when I was eighteen: I drove recklessly, engaged in high risk car racing with boys, put blame on my parents, became an obsessive shopaholic, involved with complicated boy-girl-relationship. It was until I went overseas for my further education that I have a personal encounter with the Lord Jesus Christ. At the age of 23, I got baptized on Christmas Day; I have received the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour. Since then, I am fearful for reckless driving; I feel guilty if I blame on my parents; I quit overspending and overbuying.<\/p>\n
I experienced my third rebellious phase after I was married with a child. I failed to get along with my mother-in-law. Her intervention into my marriage had caused much trouble. I was depressed with insomnia, I was at my lowest emotionally; I wanted to die. Eventually I returned to church community life, engaging myself with church gathering and serving ministry. My depression has recovered without any medical attention.<\/p>\n
When my child reached seven years old, I went through my fourth rebellious phase. I wanted to jump from the 30th floor. Little did I know that I was down with moderate depression, I did not seek medical attention either. I give my whole-self in raising up my child, juggling between work and family commitment. I have totally forgotten about self-care and self-love. Over the years, I harbored bitterness and hostility deep inside my heart, not knowing any solution and relief. Thanks be to God that through the helps of different individuals such as pastors, pastors’ wives, sisters, counselors and good friends, I can live a new life.<\/p>\n
You may read on from my website to find out more about my personal encounter with God throughout my rebellious phases. This real living God, full of love, has come to seek me, rescue me and give me another chance to live again. It is my hope that if ever you, who are in your despair, may find such hope to live too! story.sandrasii.com<\/a><\/p>\n